What are my
options if I’m pregnant?
It is likely the decision you make
about your pregnancy will have a great impact on your life. It is up to you to
make an informed decision as you consider your choices. When you find out you
are pregnant you have three options. Your options include parenting the child
yourself or with your partner, abortion, or choosing an adoptive family for
your child. Your counselor will review each choice with you. We will offer as
much information needed to help you make your decision. Your counselor will
guide you through your different options. Only you can make this decision for
you and your child.
Is it okay to feel detached from my unborn
child?
When finding out about an unplanned pregnancy you will go
through a lot of different emotions. You may not know exactly what to feel or
how to express those feelings. Sometimes you may even convince yourself to deny
the pregnancy completely. This is somewhat normal when trying to decide what to
do about an unplanned pregnancy. Your counselor will be able to help you sort
through your emotions and figure out what to do. You will be able to go through
each feeling and really think about your emotions and how they are affecting
you and this decision.
What if I haven’t been to the doctor?
Our primary concern is you and your health during this
process. If you have not been to the doctor we will help you find one at any
point in your pregnancy. Your counselor will be able to help locate a doctor
and choose a medical plan that is best for you. If you go into labor before
seeing a doctor it is okay. We will meet you at the hospital and plan an
adoption from that point. When planning an adoption the agency has procedures
in place to allow you to see the doctor free of cost to you.
Do I have to tell the birthfather?
Yes, he must be notified, if you know whom he is.
This is not as frightening as you think. If you would like, your counselor will
handle this for you. We ask that you be completely honest in telling us who the
birthfather is. Your counselor will explain the different options in contacting
the birthfather.
What if the birthfather wants to be involved
in the adoption process?
We welcome any involvement from
the birthfather in wanting to place his child for adoption. Some birthfathers
realize the importance of giving information about their social and genetic
background for the child. The birthfather is welcome to come to a visit with
the birthmother or schedule and individual session.
Do I have to tell my parents?
Most unplanned pregnancies come with a sense of
anxiety or even fear. It can be an overwhelming thought of hiding the
pregnancy. In the state of Texas
What type of
adoption is available to me and will my child be able to contact me someday?
When making a final decision about adoption it is up to the
birthparents to decide if they would like the child to be able to contact them
someday. You have several choices when choosing what you think is best for you
and your child. You can have little or no contact in your adoption agreement or
full contact including pictures and letters. If you would like your records to
be kept confidential we will seal your file. If you would like your child to be
able to contact you we will make note of it in your file and it will remain
open. Your counselor will be able to present several different options and help
you decide what type of contact will be best for you and your child for up to
18 years after the date of birth.
Do I pick the adoptive parents?
If you like, you may view photo albums and receive
information about families. You can choose and meet your family, or you can
have the agency choose for you and you will have no contact at all. The choices
are yours.
How will I know my baby is with a good
family and is taken care of?
Adoption Agencies have set guidelines and procedures for
prospective adoptive parents to follow before being able to adopt a child. You
will be able to look at photo albums the adoptive parents have made just for
you. They will hopefully tell you about their life and what is most important
to them. After choosing the family you have the choice to speak with them over
the phone or even meet them face-to-face.
What will my child be told about his/her
birthparents someday?
In the
adoption process you will be able to give the adoptive parents medical and
genetic information about you. This information can be passed onto the child.
We also offer a “When You Wonder” book to both birthparents. This book gives
the birthfather and birthmother a chance to tell the child about them. It is a
chance for you to tell your “story” to your child. This book can be one of the
greatest gifts you give your child. Your counselor will guide you through this
process as you decide what information to share. It will of course be up to the
adoptive parents when this information is passed on. We advise adoptive parents
to use age appropriate information as the child’s interest grows in knowing who
their birthparents are and where they came from.
What happens after the baby is
born? Will I see the baby?
At the hospital, you may have whomever you would
like with you. Your counselor and adoptive parents will be there if you want them
to be. Birthmothers stay from six hours to two days. During your stay at the
hospital you can see the baby as much or as little as you want to. You and your
counselor will talk about your hospital stay before delivery. Each situation is
completely different. Whatever you choose to do will be perfect for you and the
baby.
When it is time for the baby to be released from
the hospital the baby will go with the adoptive parents. Your counselor will
stay with you if you are not already released from the hospital at this point.
It is around this same time you will sign your relinquishments to make the
adoption possible for your child. You have 48 hours after the baby is born
before signing your relinquishments.
If I want to make an adoption plan
when is my decision final?
You
can call at any point during your pregnancy to make an adoption plan. Your
counselor will work with you to make the best decision possible for you and
your baby. 48 hours after the baby is born you will be able to sign your relinquishments
to make the adoption possible for your child. We advice you to take the time
you need to make this final decision. You will receive a sample of these
relinquishments when you first meet with your counselor.
Why is counseling
important?
We suggest talking to a counselor
or psychologist when making decisions concerning an unplanned pregnancy. A
counselor will help you to understand and cope with the wide range of emotions
you may be feeling. A counselor will look out for your best interest and
support you as you make decisions. A lot of times in an unplanned pregnancy a
support system tend to be limited or non-existent. A counselor will be
available at anytime you need someone to talk to. If you are going through this
pregnancy alone they will be at your side. Your counselor will be as involved
as you want them to be. You can choose if you want them in delivery and/or at the
hospital with you. A counselor can also provide information about community
resources in your city that can help you medically and financially.
Most importantly, an agency provides counseling and
support, before, during and after placement of your child into a home. They
should take care of all medical expenses and travel to the hospital, doctor,
and office. They should explain all of the adoption process to you, provide you
legal services, and should make sure you have access to them 24 hours a
day.
1-800-FREE HUG
Thanks for all the tips.
Posted by: Phoenix Auto glass repair | April 18, 2009 at 08:41 AM
It has been almost 11 years. I placed my daughter up for adoption thru Adoption Access. Debbie and Carrie were and still are wonderful. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I know that I made the right decision. The couple that adopted my daughter, Scott and Angela, are the most wonderful people. I have always said that if I had to choose new parents, I would want them to be just like Scott and Angela. I know that she has a great life. I now have 2 little girls, that do know about their big sister. They are not old enough to understand the whole adoption thing yet, but they will some day. All the feelings that come with this decision do not go away. It has been along time and I still have some of those feelings. I think about my daughter every day. I still get pictures and letters. I have gotten some of her things along the way. I hope when people read this that they will start to feel a little better about the decision to place their child for adoption. I am not going to lie to you. It will be hard for awhile. IT DOES GET BETTER!!! That I can promise. I still fight with different feelings every day. When the time comes every year for her birthday, I still get upset and cry. The holidays are still hard. It has gotten much better over the years. I just want to say thank you to Debbie Hug and Carrie Duncan. You two were my everything during this whole ordeal. I can't thank you enough for helping me thru this. Carrie, you are still helping me. Thank you. I still feel like I can contact them for help if I need it. If there are any questions I can help with, please feel free to contact me. I will help in any way I can. My e-mail address is wmccomas@netzero.com. Thank you Adoption Access! I love you!
Posted by: Windi McComas (Garofalo) | February 23, 2007 at 06:15 PM
Giving my little girl up for adoption was super hard. But I new it was for the best I was young and confused.The father was in jail. But It was one of the best things that i have ever done.When I called adoption access Brooke was the one who answered all my questions. She was the one who made me feel great through the whole thing.Brooke is no longer with the company but thank you so much. My little girl is with a great family who loves her so much. They take very good care of her and me. They send me photos and letters all the time. They always talk about me to her to so she knows who i am. I know its hard sometimes but its the best thing for me and my little girl. If you have any questions just ask. every thing will be okay. Just have faith!
Posted by: Olivia | February 04, 2007 at 03:54 PM
Heather, you were the real angel in this! You made a decision that was so incredibly difficult to make and you did it with your whole heart, with your daughter in mind. You have given her so very much. And you have blessed me as well. I am so thankful that you called and that we had this experience together. Thank you, Heather, for being who you are and caring enough to call!
Posted by: Debby Christian | January 23, 2007 at 11:30 AM
I don't think there is a harder thing to do in life then putting up a child for adoption. I kept my pregnancy from my family for 8 1/2 months. The whole time knowing that adoption is what I wanted but didn't know what steps to take or who to talk to. When my mom finally found out her first question to me was what are you going to do. Right when I said adoption. Next thing I know we are on the phone calling. Adoption Access was the first place we called and got the 24 hour line. From that moment on I was bless with an angel. Debbie Christian was there for me that night and the very next day.She got me into the doctor and never left me until she knew i was comfortable. She explained everything to me up front. I had so many questions that were very hard for me to ask but very easily answered. Not only did Debbie help me explain to the birth father the good things about adoption and how it would better both of our lifes and our daughter's. I would not change anything that I have done because I know deep down that I made the right choice for me, the father and most of all for her. Thank you Debbie for everything. It is a tough and big decision but deep down you will know what to do. Good Luck to everyone and don't be scared to ask questions or ask for help.
Heather Dodson
Posted by: Heather Dodson | January 21, 2007 at 09:40 PM
Thank you Crystal! I really appreciate you posting a comment. You can really contribute to someone else's "healing" by being open about your own experience. Thank you for your willingness in helping others. Thank you for always keeping in touch too.
Posted by: Erynn | August 23, 2006 at 03:23 PM
I have gone thouth the adoption prosses with a women named Erynn Shipley she was great to me.She gave me all the support that my family and friends would not give,she held my hand and let me know that it really was me making all the decisions.I decided who,when,and where!
I'am not going to lie it was hard making the decision that I made and I think of him every day and wish that I had him with me but then I take a look at the life that I have and I'am glad that God placed people like Erynn,Bary,and Julie in my path.
I hope that who evere is reading this that all the things that you are feeling I have also felt the same things and you are not alone if u need to ask eney Q;s just call the center in Dallas TX ask for Erynn and she can give you my e-mail add.dont be shy!!it o.k. to ask Q;s.
Crystal Martinez
Posted by: Crystal | July 26, 2006 at 01:49 AM